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Mortimer's theory explains homosexuality:"With so many fairies in and out of the theatre, the girls of the theatre often have to find other girls. Those who do go out with boys associate with anemic young 'intellectuals' with whom they go hear modern jazz."And even why wives stick with drunk husbands:
"It gives them a chance to nag, correct, boss, forgive - and if he's helpless enough - nurse and mother him. Indeed, the alcoholic who goes on the wagon can make his wife physically ill by his reformed and virtuous state. Sometimes she herself is driven to drink by it."Mortimer disdains all non-white people, of course, but he can muster some concern for them:
"Even the allegedly virile Negro seems to be losing his virility, preferring white fairires to white women. Harlem is full of low bars where black men kiss other black men or white men, and I don't know which is more disgusting."Here's the plainest statement of how all this works:
"England is the homo's paradise where he-she's are proud members of society. The Queen raises them to knoghthood, a royal commission advocates the complete legalization of homosexual love. Doctors working under socialized medicine are experimenting with human 'virgin births' without the necessity of male cooperation."
Your Crap Archivist admits to enjoying jokes about anyone and anything. But Women Confidential stands as a dismaying example of how, coming from one person, a litany of sexist and racist jokes -- even funny ones! -- might be illustrative of a corresponding belief system.
Mortimer didn't just believe that the Italians, the Negroes, the homos, and the fairies were loathsome. He believed that they had organized and were coming for him. Usually, when I encounter a racist (or whatever -ist) who believes something similar, I chalk it up to paranoia.
In Mortimer's case, thought, an Italian did come for him. Atta boy, Frank! Now, here's that Italian singing about corn in Israel in 1962, back when he was a swinging progressive.
Shocking Detail:
All that means I'm probably a terrible person for enjoying these other examples of Mortimer's cattiness. I'll see you all in Hell!
"Even before the honeymoon is over, the sucker discovers that in marrying an American woman, he sold himself into bondage to a domineering, sexless individual who is going to be the boss. And the poor chump always loses."
"Most frightening of all is the fact that American education is controlled by females and eunuchs - eggheads."
"I have yet to find a female of this generation in show business who does not think she is a minor league Eleanor Roosevelt. Brains my be all right for someone who looks like Eleanor, but please, not for Marilyn Monroe."
"Though English females are dreary, Englishmen wear luxuriant mustaches, trick clothes, loud vests - sometimes monocles. Just conceited litle cocks of the walk."
"If Scandinavian women aren't the most socialistic, they are the most sociable. And very democratic, too. Any man will do."
"Though those [Russian women] whom came to the U.S. were the cream of the crop, Americans noted few real beauties among them - and a lot of pigs. We have better-looking women in honky tonk burlesque road shows."
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