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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

"The Danger Point for Teen-Age Lovers": A "Picture Report" from a Lurid and Alarmist 1955 Magazine

Posted By on Wed, Jul 13, 2011 at 9:55 AM

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Your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from Golden State thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets.

Picture Life, the Pocket-Size Magazine of People in Action

Date: June, 1955

Publisher: Zenith Publishing, New York

Discovered at: Cordelia Junction Antique Mall, Fairfield, MA

The Cover Promises: Sex is a great danger facing teenagers today. Also: Check out the stars in her firmament!

Representative Quote:

"Inside the shed, Lucy started shivering, and Jack attempted to warm her with his body. Before they knew it, they had been kissing each other in a way they never had before, and the boy began to fumble at the girl's heavy ski clothes." (Page 10)

In the future, when media companies sext their thrice-a-minute updates directly into an eager population's brainsticks, news in America will at last be reduced to nothing but its perfect, truest form: images of undressed young women stamped with words like "Call this hotline to report the perverts who enjoy this."

Until then, Americans will have to content themselves with important press reports like CBS's "Lingerie Ad Too Sexy for TV?," which duly shows all that too-sexy lingerie, and the groundbreaking "30 More Inappropriately Sexy Ads," which alerts consumers to all of the ads that morality insists they should avoid.

This tendency is exemplified in Picture Life magazine, which is just like regular Life except for its tininess, its steady parade of bikini beauties, and its belief that Florida looks like Fred Flintstone's tie.

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The back cover demonstrates the magazine's nuanced take on sexual mores.

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They eat fungus and nuts! And, Lord, where even to begin with the race-baiting of the boxing teaser, which makes a punchline of a near lynching? Elsewhere in the issue, Willie Mays is described as "unsophisticated," as likely to be corrupted by "fleshpots," and as possessing a "big head" that might derail his career. It's unclear whether the unidentified writer means Mayes' ego or his actual physical head, and this is no help:

studies_in_crap_picture_life_willie_mays.jpg

And, incidentally, before we get to the dangers of teen petting, here's the article about those cavewomen:

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Is this the secret society all the Bushes were in at Yale?

Next: Animal Pics and Hot Petting Action!

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Alan Scherstuhl

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