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Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Ten Movies Not to Watch with Your Parents

Posted By on Tue, Jul 5, 2011 at 10:20 AM

Some movies are so gratuitously violent that the best course of action is hiding in the closet. Or, they're sappy or cringeworthy in a way that makes you embarrassed even when you're alone. Others are sexy to the point where everyone in the room gets turned on. But these movies all have one thing in common: You probably don't want to watch them with your parents.

Dennis Hopper and Isabella Rossellini get kinky in Blue Velvet.
  • Dennis Hopper and Isabella Rossellini get kinky in Blue Velvet.

Blue Velvet

Like all David Lynch films, Blue Velvet has those moments that make you totally lose track of what's happening with your face. You will pause, remind yourself that no, you did not eat mushrooms, and find that your mouth is agape (forget unknowingly eating spiders in your sleep; it mostly happens during Lynch flicks). This film centers on a college student's investigation of a kidnapping after he discovers a severed human ear in a field near his house. And it just gets weirder from there. Needless to say, watching Dennis Hopper huff nitrous oxide before dry humping and roughing up Isabella Rossellini is not an ideal experience to share with Mom and Dad.

Reservoir Dogs

The at-times stomach-turning violence in Reservoir Dogs is filmed with Quentin Tarantino's typical flair for making terrible things seem less terrible -- think of the redneck ass-rape scene in Pulp Fiction or the mass-murder bloodbath in Kill Bill. But the violence surrounding this diamond heist gone wrong -- led by the sociopathic Mr. Blonde, who at one point nearly lights a cop on fire after torturing him and cutting off his ear while grooving to "Stuck in the Middle with You" -- will probably make your dad laugh, which will make your mom uncomfortable and will remind you of the time he made you watch Fire in the Sky when you were a kid and you didn't sleep for a week. Everyone's night will be ruined.

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Angela Lutz


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