Page 2 of 2
45:00: Porn Harold Ramis (James Deen) is going down on Porn Annie Potts, but not in any detail.
47:00: Their first call! The Ghostbusters venture out in their car, The "Erecto1."
Alan: That's actually funny.
48:00-59:00: In a hotel lobby, Porn Bill Murray boasts that the "unlicensed nuclear accelerator" on his back is "ribbed for her pleasure." Then, just like in the original, but with no comic timing, Porn Bill Murray gets slimed.
Amy: Now he knows how that girl felt.
50:30: The Not-Ghostbusters capture Slimer (now with an erection) with much digital nonsense from their proton packs.
Alan: What's more boring, this or the sex?
Amy: The sex. This has some effects.
52:00: Porn Sigourney Weaver is now Porn Zuul. She is flung back on her couch, inviting Porn Bill Murray to make love to her. (Not her words.) Porn Bill Murray seems surprised by this behavior, even though this kind of thing seems to happen to him over and over again.
Alan: Isn't a parody supposed to make you rethink the original in some way? To lampoon it? You would think they would parody the phallic imagery of the proton packs or the whole don't-cross-the-streams thing. I really can't believe there's not going to be any Ghostbuster-on-Ghostbuster action. In Batman XXX from the same director, there's no Batman-on-Robin, and I even read that their porn Brady Bunch didn't have any incest in it. What's the point?
Amy: I think they're pointing out that the scenes where she seduces Bill Murray in the original have sexual overtones.
Alan: Look, he's going down first. Does he only do that for evil women?
The scene goes on and on.
Amy: The Bill Murray movie this most resembles is Groundhog Day. Every day of his life, it's the same thing, again and again.
1:13:00 Porn Annie Potts delivers this film's version of the keymaster/gatekeeper nonsense: "Mama wants some slob ejaculate on her coochie supplicant now!" Trust us, that's all [sic]. After a clumsy fadeout, the movie cuts to Porn Harold Ramis licking her bottom while she goes down on Porn Rick Moranis.
Amy: These Busters are nothing if not thorough. And, wow, Egon's hung.
Alan: Do you think they'll have the scene where Bill Murray says the guys has no dick and then he'll prove it?
As he ejaculates, Porn Rick Moranis actually moans in imitation of Real Rick Moranis.
Amy: "I thought their job was to keep the slime out of New York."
1:29:00: Cut to the roof of a New York City skyscraper transformed -- through movie magic -- into an apocalyptic CGI mess of pyramids and golden light. It looks like an L. Ron Hubbard book.
The movie's second funny joke hits: suddenly, there's a black Ghostbuster, and the others seem surprised by this. Instead of "Are you a god?" Gozar the Gozarian asks, "Do you have a thirteen-inch cock?" Then comes the parody's answer to the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, which is too lame to spoil.
Alan: I just realized who Porn Bill Murray looks like-- the guy who played David Letterman in The Late Shift.
[Amy shudders.]
1:33:00 -end: The new Ghostbuster has sex with Gozar. This goes on for a while.
Amy: Was anybody really thinking, "Man, Ghostbusters is a great movie, but I want to watch it with my hand in my pants?"
Alan: I saw it at the drive-in when I was a kid. On the screen behind us, they were showing Bo Derek in Bolero, the movie where all she does is take naked horse rides. We sat outside the car and watched that. That was way hotter than this.
1:50something: New Ghostbuster ejaculates on fake breasts of Gozar. She explodes. He is covered in suds. He shouts, "I love this town!" The fake version of Ray Parker Jr.,'s fake Huey Lewis song plays again. Alan and Amy feel kind of scraped-out and depressed.
Hey, you could do worse than following @studiesincrap or @ExhibitionistSF on the Twitter thing.