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Friday, March 4, 2011

Easy Target: 'God Hates Fags' Gets Love, Mexico Exports Queer Beer, Bardem Smacks Brolin

Posted By on Fri, Mar 4, 2011 at 7:30 AM

  • Gabriel Gastelum
  • Oscar Raymundo

Welcome to the second installment of Easy Target. Oscar Raymundo is the event coordinator at A Different Light bookstore and an editor at He also writes the HomoTech column for EDGE Media Networks. Each week Easy Target alerts you of potential advances or threats to gaykind from the forces of the news media, politics, and popular culture -- the front lines of the culture wars -- in San Francisco and beyond.

This week, the Westboro Church has rights. Mexico wants to give us beer bellies. We miss a gay kiss at the Oscars. Britney Spears announced a crash landing in the Castro. A boy contemplated suicide over gay porn. Jamaica needs to pull a Stonewall. And lesbians get their house burnt down.

Wonder whether those protesters know they're being mocked? - BURSTEIN / FLICKR
  • Burstein / Flickr
  • Wonder whether those protesters know they're being mocked?

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the First Amendment gives the Westboro Baptist Church -- of "God Hates Fags" and "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" fame -- the right to protest outside of military burials. Members of the church thanked God for the win, but little do they know that the big G upstairs stopped taking sides in Supreme Court cases after Lawrence v. Texas. The 8-1 decision also gives the church free reign to continue amusing us with their low-budget pop song renditions. Safe.

The Oscars started out with a promise to be young and hip this year, but all we got was a bunch of cringe-worthy moments between hosts, Anne Hathaway (overeager cheerleader) and James Franco (dosed-out stoner). The most exciting part wasn't even televised. ABC cut away from airing a man-kiss between screen hunks Javier Bardem and Josh Brolin. The gay in charge of the ceremony, Bruce Cohen, said it was just a mistake and not to make a big fuss about it. In more gay-friendly news, Oscar-winning King's Speech producer, Iain Canning, thanked his boyfriend, Ben, during his acceptance speech for Best Picture. Safe.

The bitch is back, bitches! Actually, we're not entirely sure Britney Spears can find San Francisco on a map, but she's sure as hell making her way to the Castro for an outdoor mini-concert airing on Good Morning America on March 29. The city is expecting 20,000 femmeboys, drag queens and Ke$ha wannabes trickling in to see the pop princess perform, er... power walk on stage, and rumor has it that Britney will be in town all week, spending time with the kids at Lyric. So start making those frappuccinos, Bearbucks baristas. Even if she's here for however long it takes her to lip sync two songs, expect her to single-handedly start a new gay holiday in the city. Safe.


As if Michelob and Budweiser weren't gay enough, a Mexican brewing company is introducing beer marketed towards gay guzzlers. They say it's the first "queer beer," but one stroll through the new LGBT history museum in the Castro would prove them, uh, wrong. The Purple Hand and Salamandra beers are currently available in Mexico City, Guadalajara, Puerto Vallarta, and Los Cabos and will soon be introduced in Colombia, Argentina, Ecuador, Chile, Japan and possibly in the States. And because we're apparently obsessed with labeling ourselves, we can rip off the bottle labels and wear them! No word yet whether drinking the beer will turn you into this guy. Risky.

Gay porn studio, Corbin Fisher, is on a mission to "liberate" 40,000 gay teens who have snuck past their parents' online security filters to watch Travis fucking Derek... by suing them for illegal downloads! Kevin Farrell, founder of UnicornBooty, advises the porn company to be more conscientious. He shares his personal story of being kicked out of his house when he was 12 after his parents discovered gay porn on his computer. Farrell even considered suicide! CF still thinks we're just a bunch of "thieving little shits." Trust me, Kevin, Travis fucking Derek is so not worth it. Risky.

The only gay bar in Jamaica's Montego Bay was raided by 20 armed officers shouting anti-gay slurs and assaulting the patrons. Last month, a similar raid happened in a gay bar in Kingston. Police have issued no explanation, and when a gay rights activist wrote a letter to the editor of the Jamaica Gleaner, all he got in return were death threats. Dangerous.

But we don't have to look that far to find anti-gay crimes. In Nashville, after coming back from an anniversary vacation, a lesbian couple found their home burnt to the ground by a homophobic neighbor, who had told them, "The only thing better than one dead queer is two dead queers." Adding fuel to the fire, the insurance company has yet to pay the couple for their loss. Dangerous.

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