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Friday, February 4, 2011

The! Super! Bowl! Or Not! XLV Events in San Francisco

Posted By on Fri, Feb 4, 2011 at 3:20 PM

Can you tell I learned everything I know about Football from Varsity Blues? - IMDB
  • IMDB
  • Can you tell I learned everything I know about Football from Varsity Blues?

Hey, it's the Super Bowl. Are you drunk yet? I'm not going to pretend with you, because I respect you more than that. I didn't know who was playing in the Super Bowl until last week, and when and if I watch it, it will largely be as an excuse to get hammered before noon, eat chicken wings, and make bets on how many of the commercials will feature rapping animals. (Educated guess: At least three.) But this will be largely to the dismay of my friends who are invested in the game, so here are some events that should make both the true sports fan and the belligerent hangers-on happy.

Third Annual Heavy Metal Chili Cookoff at Bottom of the Hill

There are only 25 slots available for this chili cookoff, so our guess is that you're SOL if you want to enter. (If you want to try your luck, though, email But you're cordially invited to bring contributions to this heavy metal potluck, where the panel of chili judges includes a James Beard winner! Fancy!

Bottom of the Hill, Free, 1 p.m. More info

Men in Tights presented by SF Indiefest

SF Indiefest will be presenting the game on the big screen at CELLspace Mystery Science Theater style, and we can't really put it better than former Night & Day editor Michael Leaverton: "'s at a graffiti-covered all-purpose arts venue and not at Chili's; it's being thrown by SF Indiefest; it has "SportsSweater Commentators"; and we're pretty sure it won't be overrun by diehard, foamy Steelers and Packers fans, with their cheese hats and shouty beer genes."

CELLspace, Free, 2:30 p.m. More info

Red Hots Burlesque at El Rio present: Go Deep!

Well, you had us at the sports/sex double entendre, and then you kept us with the promise of something called a "Frito Boat." To whit: "Frito Lay chips small size, topped with homemade vegetarian chili, raw white onions & cheese - served with a spoon in the Frito Lay package (cut length wise)." There will be burlesque, food, and trivia during the comercial breaks.

El Rio, Free, 3 p.m. More info & More info!

Super Bowl Party at 330 Ritch

For a mere $5, free drinks will be poured between 1-2 p.m. and sports spectacle will be poured straight into your brain via six giant screens. Drink specials kick in after 2 p.m. and Little Skillet will be serving up chicken and waffles.

330 Ritch, 1 p.m., $5, More info

But I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate sports and I hate the Super Bowl and commercialism and I just want to to the damn opposite of watching the Super Bowl!

OK, sheesh.

Breakfast at Tiffany's at the Castro Theater

Did you know it's the 50th anniversary of Breakfast at Tiffany's? Well, it is. Go watch it at the Castro theater. It's showing several times during the day, so you can just watch it over and over until the game subsides. BAM.

Castro Theater, 2 p.m. (and other showtimes), $7.50-$10, More info

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Andy Wright


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