You may have noticed an atmospheric disturbance last night at 7:12 p.m. Did you feel a tingle in your spine? Glimpse a strange shadow in your peripheral vision? Find yourself seized with the desire to open your windows or burn sage?
Coyotes howled. Dogs whimpered. Children cried. Cats did nothing, but they are cats.
At 7:12 p.m. last night the news broke that Uber is moving to Oakland
. RIP Oakland
The San Francisco Business Times
got the story first, reporting that the giant transportation network company will be taking over all 330,000 square feet of office space at the former Sears building at 19th and Broadway.
The San Francisco Chronicle
then published, unpublished
, and republished
news that Uber actually bought the building. Uber plans to move in by 2017.
According to the Biz Times, the newly renovated building will feature a "a rooftop strewn with picnic tables and fire pits." It's unclear whether longtime Oaklanders will be allowed to huddle around the fire pits for warmth after the Uberpocalypse sweeps through the East Bay housing market.
Rest in power, Oakland. We may not have loved you well, but we sure will miss you when you're gone.