A woman was brutally attacked in a San Francisco techie bar when she attempted to make a call on a Windows phone, according to police reports.
Sarah Stiles, a San Francisco housing activist, described the incident to police, saying that she was at Rickhouse in the Financial District.
"I got a text from one of my allies in the domiciled community (an activist term for people with homes) and wanted to call back," Stiles said. "But when I brought out my Nokia Lumia, the crowd turned ugly."
According to the police report, two women and a man confronted her about the lack of a strong app ecosystem for the Windows platform, and made aggressive remarks about overall market penetration.
"It was incredibly hurtful," said Stiles. "It sounded like they either wanted to rape me or sign me up for some kind of start-up messaging service. I couldn't always tell."
The encounter escalated when another patron ripped the phone out of her hand, saying "App/OS UI integration is the future of mobile!" and then ran outside to get an Uber.
According to a post on Stiles' MySpace page "I ran after him, but by the time I got my phone back there was a $30 charge for a trip to a taco truck in SOMA, and when I returned to the bar my identity had been stolen, and I'd been signed up for a service that sends vegan recipes to my contact list. Why would someone do that? How do they expect to monetize? "
Witnesses in the bar said the ugly scene was a result of people fearing what they don't understand. According to a witness named Bryan, "There are a lot of members of the local tech scene at this bar, and so no one had ever seen a Windows phone before. It's the kind of thing you only read about happening to other people."
He added, "My startup is offering great deals on an app that will lie on your resume for you -- completely automate that process. Follow me on Twitter for more details."
Officer Albie Esparza confirmed that a police report had been filed with the San Francisco Police Department, and was currently being stored on a floppy disk.
Benjamin Wachs is a literary chameleon.
Editors Note: Some of the names in this story are fictional