No matter how many liquor bottles Mayor Ed Lee empties in the toilet this week, there's not a chance in hell he's going to get all of San Francisco to stay sober on Super Bowl Sunday.
So pragmatic San Francisco cops are preparing for the worst, and that'd be drunk drivers.
Come Saturday the National Football League is teaming up with cops who are trained in sniffing out alcohol to make sure football fans aren't letting football fans drive drunk.
Here's what you should expect:
A drove of cops will be conducting a DUI checkpoint on Saturday from 7 p.m. to 3 a.m. in a location that's not yet been disclosed. Police patrols will continue throughout Sunday from 7 p.m. to 3 a.m. across the city as fans gather to feast on buffalo wings and beer.
These DUI cops, who by the way will be on duty in addition to the regular beat cops, will all be out looking for one thing: the tell-tale signs of an inebriated driver, according to police.
And for good reason: In 2011, 774 people were killed in DUI crashes and more than 24,000 were injured statewide. These drunk-driving fatalities accounted for 29 percent of the total vehicle traffic deaths in California.
If you aren't sure what to do with all this information, here's some advice:
FYI, you can be held liable and prosecuted if someone you served winds up causing a drunk driving crash.
Be safe, and go Niners.