In the latest iteration of a tired tradition, a newspaper from the country's heartland has dispatched a writer playing the part of "Unfrozen Caveman Sports Columnist" to San Francisco. Once arrived on our decadent shores, he's labeled our fans as a bunch of gourmet-munching softies, used coded language to decry us as "against the laws of nature," and, by implication, claimed that we have veered from the right and true path of how they do it where he's from.
Two years ago, that part was played by Dallas Morning News columnist Steve Blow, who hit San Francisco where it hurts when he wrote "I figured that by now someone here would have decided that baseball chalk isn't Earth-kind or that the game is overtly sexist or gender-role confining..." Apparently we need more of that kind of thinking, because here's Detroit Free Press scribe Jeff Seidel predicting a Tigers victory, because, "How the heck can you lose to a team where the fans can go to a
game and stuff a teddy bear and then buy a cute little outfit? Can you imagine that in Detroit?"
With all due respect, it's not often the term "Can you imagine that in Detroit?" is used to describe something undesirable.
The descriptions of a largely imaginary and stereotypical San Francisco and its fans, meanwhile, stand in stark contrast to the maniacal ruffians admiringly described by St. Louis Cardinals media -- and even some players.
"For two blocks they were pounding on the side of the bus. There was a police escort, I didn't really look outside for fear of something breaking through the window. They were pounding on the bus for a couple of blocks."
When asked about the into-it crowd at AT&T Park, one Cards player recently said: "Maybe the best fans in baseball should take note."