A few weeks ago we regaled readers with some snippets from SFPD Captain Greg Corrales' weekly newsletter in which, believe it or not, he manages to find more synonyms for the word "thug" than the daring duo over at the Examiner.
But alas, it seems we've offended a cop -- and let us assure you it won't be the first time, nor will it be the last -- when we noted that bad writing should be a crime. In his following newsletter, the prolific police captain penned this beastly response to our blog post. WARNING: Painful prose ahead!
Holy Animadversion!! In the SF Weekly's blog "The Snitch" (I love that word), Erin Sherbert pans "perplexing police reports" penned by yours truly. I have assured Tess Trueheart that Erin could not possibly be guilty of Zoilism. In all candor, on rare occasions my writing may have been grandiloquent, elliptical, and maybe once or twice, euphuistic. Erin's description, however, "bad," wounds me. It almost caused a graphospasm. Erin -- Do you object to the logorrhea of my newsletters, or the lexiphanic prose? Perhaps I should transmogrify to lapidary prose filled with Addisonian sentences. Nah.
Normally, we might be moved to fling some mud back, but Captain Corrales' baffling, Mr. Burns-esque phraseology is just so damn charming that, instead, we're inspired to join him. Look for the two of us gadding about town on a tandem bike with monocles and an Oxford English Dictionary. Bosom buddies shall we be! Excelsior!
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