Now here's some good fodder for an anti-drinking campaign.
A San Francisco jury acquitted a 20-year-old man today of burglary charges, and instead convicted him of petty theft and receiving stolen property after he convinced jurors that he was just a drunk, not a crook.
Gonzalez Guzman and his buddy, 20-year-old David Morse-Acevedo, were arrested on April 8 after their plans to hit the town in San Francisco at 18-and-up clubs ended with an iPad in their pants.
According to the Public Defender's Office, the duo, who had come from Millbrae, threw back several shots of alcohol before hopping on Caltrain, where they then split a plastic water bottle filled with gin.
However, when they got to the club, the bouncer refused to let them in; they had been counting on Morse-Acevedo's girlfriend to give them a ride home, but she was inside the club and they couldn't get to her.
Clatrain was closed, which meant the intoxicated and now cold men were totally screwed. So they did what most incredibly drunk people do, and wandered the city aimlessly for hours in a stupor. At about 4:30 a.m., the drunks found shelter at the Clarence Place loft residence, which they entered through the rooftop deck.
Surveillance video played for the jury shows Guzman and his friend walking around inside one of the lofts while residents slept; Guzman is seen in the bathroom and later playing with the dimmer switch in the living room, which was an apparent source of entertainment for him at the time.
About an hour later, one of the residents in the loft woke up and found his iPad, as well as other property, missing. He called police, who used the iPad's tracking software, which led them down Morse-Acevedo's pants, where the iPad was being stored. More property was found in an empty building near the residence.
Guzman was never found with stolen property, but he was still convicted of the lesser charges because his fingerprints were found on some of the stolen items.
"This case hinged on intention," said Deputy Public Defender Peter Santina. "To be convicted of burglary, a person must enter a residence with the intention to steal. Mr. Gonzalez Guzman didn't have that intention. He was simply blackout drunk."
Follow us on Twitter at @TheSnitchSF and @SFWeekly