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Friday, May 18, 2012

Bay to Breakers Has a New Set of Sobering Rules

Posted By and on Fri, May 18, 2012 at 2:02 PM

You are supposed to sit on the toilet, not shit on it.
  • You are supposed to sit on the toilet, not shit on it.

This year's Bay to Breakers will look -- and feel -- a bit different than what you've come to know in year's past. For starters, there will be no floats allowed and no "wheeled objects" permitted -- that includes moms (or dads) with strollers and bicycles.

And remember the roving tiki bar in 2005? Or that giant duck float from 2010? Gone.

Last year, race operators released a slew of new rules restricting the only-in-San Francisco traditions that have shaped the bizarreness of B2B since its inception. Much of that fun was alcohol-induced, but now race participants have to leave their booze at home. And no dog or headphones, either, because you know what they say: If you act like children, you will be treated like children.

Also everyone has to wear a bib to prove they are paid and registered for the race -- unregistered runners and last-minute registrations are absolutely forbidden (that includes you, Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom!).

Yes, it kind of sounds like B2B has become a killjoy, but organizers say these new rules aren't meant to do away with the zany fun. Rather, they are there to make the footrace a safer and -- fingers crossed -- a much cleaner event.

Speaking of being clean, some 1,200 portable toilets will be stationed at intervals along the route, which means you'll have to exercise those potty-training skills you learned as a toddler. If you are able to hold it and use a Porta-Potty like an adult, then you will be rewarded, just like any 3-year-old -- or puppy. We're not kidding! An attendant will be there to hand you a wristband proclaming you as a

bona fide "Potty Hero" for not pissing and defecating anywhere other than a public restroom.

So if you're planning to partake in the race this weekend, expect to see plenty police out there enforcing the news rules and trying to make it safer for you. However, if you're like us, then you'll be swigging a beer, with your dog by your side in the comfort of your own home, far away from the Bay to Breakers stampede.

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