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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Twitter User Who Wants to Sodomize Michele Bachmann Can't Remain Anonymous

Posted By on Tue, Feb 28, 2012 at 12:35 PM

Someone has managed to out-extreme Michele Bachmann
  • Someone has managed to out-extreme Michele Bachmann

A man who proclaimed on Twitter his desire to sodomize conservative Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann with a machete will have his identity revealed to federal investigators, a U.S. District Court judge in Washington, D.C., has ruled.

The man -- who for now remains anonymous in public court filings, and is referred to in Chief Judge Royce Lamberth's ruling as "Mr. X" -- wrote a tweet in August 2011 stating, "I want to fuck Michelle [sic] Bachmann in the ass with a Vietnam era machete."

As Courthouse News reports, Mr. X filed a motion to quash a subpoena for information on his identity

filed with Twitter, the San Francisco-based tech company, by a grand

jury in the District of Columbia.

Lamberth denied that motion, writing that Mr. X's identity was relevant information to establish whether to take seriously his threat against Bachmann, a former contender for the Republican presidential nomination and darling of the party's extreme right wing. "What Mr. X is describing is the forcible insertion of an extremely sharp, real-world weapon into Ms. Bachmann's rectum, which, if performed, would undoubtedly cause serious bodily injury -- and likely death," the judge wrote.

Lamberth devoted a large portion of his lively order to castigating Mr. X's Twitter feed. To wit:

Mr. X's body of tweets is extremely crude and in almost incomprehensibly poor taste. Occasionally political but consistently vacuous, his oeuvre represents an infantile attempt at humor that brings to mind the most obscene aspects of Andrew Dice Clay, but without even the infinitesimal modicum of artistic creativity that Mr. Clay managed to possess. The page is entirely without merit, comedic or otherwise. More offensive even than Mr. X's chosen vocabulary is the pathetic transparency and vapidity of his attempt to elicit the attention on the Internet that he surely lacks in real life.

Among the tweets cited by the judge to buttress his criticism of Mr. X: "Goddamn I smacked my wife with my Dick... Now she has a cock shaped bruise on her face... Take that take that take that," and "My dick testified in court today in the case against my left hand 'He beat me,your [sic] honor every day for 25 years.'"

Lamberth noted that while the grand jury can know Mr. X's identity, he had "grave doubts about the likelihood of a grand jury returning an indictment in this case."

As the judge put it: "There appears to be nothing serious whatsoever about Mr. X's Twitter page, except perhaps the severity of mental depravity that would lead a person to produce such posts."

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Peter Jamison

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