Justin Timberlake's newly announced ownership stake in MySpace is without doubt the coolest thing to happen to the ailing social network in some time. Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. just sold MySpace, which it acquired six years ago, at a $545 million loss. But new owner Specific Media's announcement that Timberlake has come to help turn the company around offers a glimmer of hope. You have to wonder:
Might there just be a dick in MySpace's box?
Figuring Timberlake and Specific might want a few tips on how to get MySpace off life support, SF Weekly offers the following gratuitous and unsolicited advice:
1. Offer hapless users a bunch of idiotic, boring, and expensive online games involving pets, fish, and restaurants. Hey, it's worked before.
2. Forget about Facebook "friends." Timberlake should get Mila Kunis involved to help launch a "friends with benefits" feature.
3. Since The Social Network was such a hit -- in part because of Timberlake's role as Napster founder Sean Parker -- he should commission a new movie about MySpace as a publicity stunt. Justin Bieber stars as Justin Timberlake.
4. Seduce Mark Zuckerberg's girlfriend/possible fiancée. (Hint: Cut a hole in a box ...)
5. If Timberlake wants to improve MySpace's reputation as a "digital ghetto," then whatever he does -- no matter how much the once-again single JT is tempted -- he should not bring back Britney.
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