Updated at 3 p.m: Someone purporting to be from KSFO has responded to this piece with this thoughtful tweet:
One terrible truth of life is that on occasion talk-radio listeners wander out of earshot and languish momentarily without anyone telling them what they should be mad about. That's why KSFO created its text message Patriot Alerts program, which promises to alert its subscribers to "higher taxes" and "threats to your rights and freedoms."
The idea is that KSFO -- the local home of Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin, Sean Hannity, and other media professionals who make bank denouncing media professionals -- remains forever vigilant, surveying a nation in crisis, and then sending what matters straight to patriots' pants.
Two months back, SF Weekly signed up for KSFO's texts. Here's what we got when we set our freedoms to vibrate:
"Thanks for subscribing to KSFO's Patriot Alerts! For more info visit ksfo.com. Std txt msg rates may apply.To opt out text 'patriot stop' to 64636"
But true patriots don't stop!
Patriot Alert: PG&E reports 7000+ customers without power in Pacifica after 3.8M quake. *Sussman_'s Choice 4 Gold, 800.877.3273.
Yes, that's a pitch for whatever gold company pays morning guy Brian Sussman.
KSFO Patriot Alert: Obama released his long-form birth certificate. Let us know what u think at facebook.com/560ksfo. *Sussman_'s Choice 4 Gold, 800.877.3273.
It is the task of true patriots to disseminate their opinion through social media despite having no information other than a vague text.
KSFO Patriot Alert: ABC News is reporting that Osama Bin Laden has been killed. President Obama to make a statement shortly."
No gold ad this time! Did the company stop ponying up? Or perhaps out of patriotic principle it refuses to be mentioned in the same message as a lamestream media organization like ABC.
KSFO Patriot Alert: New Gingrich formally launches his long-expected Presidential Campaign. More as KSFO.com.
Two hundred years from now, history books will tell of the brave texter who dared to let the people know this news.
KSFO Patriot Alert:Mitt Romney has officially entered the 2012 Presidential Race. Hear all about it on KSFO 560 AM! *Sussman_'s Choice 4 Gold, 800.877.3273.
Seriously, that's it for these. Something tells us that KSFO's commitment to new information technologies is -- like the opinions of its on-air talent -- pretty last century. Keep right on with the liberty sexting, KSFO!