It is that time of year again. Virile young men, dissatisfied at the sight of twentysomething females in idiotic animal costumes sprawling on the slopes of Dolores Park, feel an ancient song stirring in the blood. They long for something different: hotel bars thick with cloying perfume, the rasp of tight-fitting nylon, an aging visage decorated, kabuki-like, to pantomime the dark extremes of feminine desire.
The season of the cougar is upon us. And what better way to celebrate than the annual California Cougar Convention, to be held from 9 p.m. to midnight this Saturday at the Intramuros in South San Francisco? Organizers say the event is the largest gathering of cougars and "cubs" in the state.
This year, the featured speaker is Amy Luna Manderino of Berkeley, who was honored as Miss Cougar California 2010 and Miss Cougar International 2011.
The title of the keynote address: "How to P.L.E.A.S.E. your Cougar or Cub for a Night or for a Lifetime."
We're not worthy! (But we suspect we that perhaps we are.)
And while we're honoring cougar luminaries, let us not forget the recently crowned Miss Cougar America 2011, Palm Springs resident Aalsa Lee, a 72-year-old great-grandmother of two. By its claw do you know the lion.
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