Here is one group that will truly benefit from not being Raptured.
Former KUSF DJs, who lost their terrestrial radio station when the University of San Francisco sold its license Jan. 18, plan to take over the FCC licenses of evangelist Harold Camping, the Oakland broadcaster who says the world will end tomorrow.
"Once he and his followers are 'raptured,' we'd be happy to take that over for him," said Ted Dively, cooperative member with KUSF in Exile, the new, lesser version of the community radio station.
And what makes him think there will be any KUSF DJs left behind?
"I think it's fair to say that the members of KUSF in Exile have all sinned," he tells SF Weekly.
According to the most recently available IRS filings of Camping-led Family Stations Inc., the organization owned FCC licenses worth $56 million as of 2009. KUSF's FCC license, meanwhile, was reportedly sold for a mere $3.75 million.
Prior to the media frenzy surrounding Camping's Rapture, KUSF in Exile was holding out on an ever-so-faint hope of raising $4 million to buy back the 90.3 FM license.
But now that Family Stations is planning to exchange its terrestrial broadcasting operation for a, well, more spectral one, KUSF DJs won't need to raise money. KUSF in Exile doesn't need to mess with FCC bureaucracy if it can just usurp the Family Stations' radio empire.
It's worth noting that the FCC is the regulator charged with barring obscenity, indecency, and profanity from America's airwaves, which means its staff will be raptured straight to heaven on May 21.
Follow us on Twitter at @SFWeekly and @TheSnitchSF