It's no wonder rumors are burning that the Giants are conniving to obtain scintillating Mets shortstop Jose Reyes. San Francisco's offense is providing writers with a rare opportunity to use the word "flaccid" in a nonsexual context. Meanwhile, erstwhile Giants shortstop Miguel Tejada is batting .200 and showing the range of a man whose balls weigh 20 pounds apiece.
There are very few teams Reyes couldn't improve (though, it warrants mentioning, that even his gaudy numbers and deft fielding aren't much help to the hapless Mets). That being said, the asking price for a highly probable rent-a-player would be steep. The Mets, in all likelihood, do not want Barry Zito any more than they'd like three magic beans. What's more, the Giants do not have a rich history of in-season trades -- especially for marquee players.
Going back a decade in the team's transactional history unearths players whose names conjure up the odor of stale beer and peanuts -- as the only time you'd think of them would be when someone utters "Remember ol' Whatshisname?" while perched on a barstool. To wit: