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Friday, January 7, 2011

Has a Deadly Anteater Come to San Francisco?

Posted By on Fri, Jan 7, 2011 at 4:10 PM

click to enlarge Ahhhhhhh!
  • Ahhhhhhh!

Not exactly -- at least not yet. But who's to say the adorable baby anteater who just came into this world at the San Francisco Zoo won't one day be a match for the likes of Godzilla and Mothra?

Bear with us, folks. This isn't just scare journalism. As we all know too well, the beasts of our city's zoo are not creatures to be trifled with -- particularly while eating nachos. And as the San Francisco Appeal reports today, the giant anteater, while almost unbearably cute in its present state of infancy, could become a formidable adversary in adulthood.

How formidable? The Appeal, citing National Geographic, notes that the animal grows to a length of eight feet and "when threatened the Giant Anteater can respond quite aggressively, rearing up on its hind legs while it balances using that tail, then lashing out with four inch long claws."

Wow. How did Stephen King never write a book about these things?

Apparently, the giant anteater has even been known to do combat with such esteemed wild predators as pumas and jaguars. We sure hope that no enterprising zookeepers get the idea of running a most unusual after-hours betting racket that involves mixing and matching large-animal species, Bloodsport-style.

For now, as far as we can tell, there's no imminent danger. From all indications, the baby anteater is not yet aware of its powers (or even its gender). By all means, visit the zoo and enjoy the sight of the anteater in peace ... while you still can.

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Peter Jamison


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