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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Homeless Man Not Masturbating, Just Pissing, Jury Decides

Posted By on Tue, Nov 9, 2010 at 12:40 PM

click to enlarge If the piss story fits, you must acquit...
  • If the piss story fits, you must acquit...

Peeing with prostate problems can be a real pisser. But even more uncomfortable, we imagine, is having your method of micturating be the subject of examinations and cross examinations in court.

That's exactly what was debated in a doozy of a case in which a homeless man named Anthony Richey was accused of indecent exposure and lewd conduct for allegedly masturbating in an alcove at Eddy and Franklin Streets on July 25. Those are only misdemeanor charges, yet they still would carry a six month county jail sentence and lifetime sex offender registration.

But Richey's case turned out to be less about lewd conduct than whether the guy was masturbating or simply peeing. Richey's defense attorney hauled in the director of Jail Health Services and a urologist to testify that Richey had a 10-year history of bladder and prostate problems, making peeing a real pain.

In a much more anatomically detailed press release than we're accustomed to receiving, the public defender's office explains that "In addition to his health conditions, which had caused him to be catheterized in the past, Richey was taking medication with a primary side effect of increasing difficulty in urinating.  The urologist testified that men suffering Richey's condition often will push on their bladders or squeeze their genitals in an attempt to increase the flow of urine."

Well now, doesn't the 911 caller feel shitty. The caller admitted that Richey may have just been trying to pee. Police officers responding to the call testified that they told him, "You can't be doing that here," and Richey answered, "I have no place else to go. I'm homeless." Is that the statement of man masturbating in an alcove?
 
After deliberating for an hour, the jury settled on No. 1 -- there was at least a reasonable doubt that Richey had been masturbating. They acquitted him on both charges, and now, Richey can piss in peace. Well, as peaceful as it can be in the 'Loin.

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Lauren Smiley

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