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Friday, November 5, 2010

Only in SF: World Champion Giants Flaunt Crossdressing, BDSM Prowess

Posted By on Fri, Nov 5, 2010 at 4:30 PM


click to enlarge Aubrey Huff: champion and ladies' thong-wearer
  • Aubrey Huff: champion and ladies' thong-wearer
This year's World Series-winning San Francisco Giants baseball team was, as manager Bruce Bochy memorably put it, a band of "cast-offs and misfits." A motley crew of otherwise unremarkable clutch batters complementing an extraordinary pitching staff, the Giants were never expected to be the world champs.

click to enlarge Aubrey Huff: champion and ladies' thong-wearer
  • Aubrey Huff: champion and ladies' thong-wearer
Aubrey Huff: champion and ladies' thong-wearer
But it's no secret by now that some of our favorite Giants also fit the misfit mold (or break it, depending on how you look at it) off the field. In a city whose residents pride themselves on leading eccentric personal lives, the Giants are no exception. So it is that we proudly announce the topic of this week's installment of Only in S.F.: Only in San Francisco do celebrity male athletes publicly flaunt their affinity for women's lingerie and black leather bondage gear.

Start with the lingerie. First baseman Aubrey Huff wore his wife's red thong panties underneath his uniform throughout the postseason. At the World Series parade on Wednesday, he performed a Zoolander-esque brandishing of what he had come to call the "Rally Thong."

Now, we know what you're going to say: If Huff had truly been channeling the spirit of his city, he would have ditched the uniform, donned some high heels, and headed to Esta Noche. To which we reply: If you've seen the ladies of Esta Noche, then you know Huff would be playing way out of his league at the Mission's finest drag bar.

But Huff's red thong pales beside what has become the best-known sexual sideshow of the 2010 Giants. We speak, of course, of that bizarre, near-holy entity known as The Machine. Who and what is The Machine? Nobody knows for sure. Some believe he is Pat Burrell. Others believe he is a god. The only thing we can say with certainty is that he's a guy in full fetish gear who likes to wander around pitcher Brian Wilson's digs in the Marina.



The Machine even made a charming, if enigmatic, appearance alongside Wilson on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night. The BDSM avatar was silent during his televised cameo, perhaps admiring the World Series trophy that Wilson carried onstage with a pair of white gloves he said were woven from "Himalayan yeti fur."

It sure is nice to know that that glorious piece of hardware is another thing you'll find only in San Francisco for a while.

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Peter Jamison

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