Daniel "Spider-Dan" Goodwin faces trespassing and public nuisance charges after the self-avowed daredevil dared to scale San Francisco's Millennium Tower over Labor Day weekend last month. The alleged arsonist is Paul Williams who, according to police and neighbors, set his Tenderloin apartment building on fire on Sunday, and then ambled outside to a bus stop to watch the conflagration as if in a daze. Both will be arraigned today on behalf of the People of the State of California.
That leaves the haters. Hate crimes are no joke, people -- they turn an otherwise-ticketable vandalism charge into a prison-time-worthy rap five felonies long. "Street artist" Katherine Dunbar spraypainted her "Kkkatie" tag all over town until May, when she allegedly tried to spraypaint a man and bite a cop (she also used the n-word to refer to the man, and spraypainted swastikas and other stuff on public toilets and public buildings). She faces fifteen counts including felony vandalism, assault, battery and dissuading a witness, seven of which carry a hate-crime enhancement. If convicted, she'll face some serious prison time, the guest of us t-t-taxpayers!
Lastly, former USC Trojan and NFL Europe football player Chris Brymer was the subject of a recent SF Weekly cover story, after reading which it should seem painfully obvious that Brymer is afflicted by brain damage earned via repeated shots to the head during his decade in football. So what, say prosecutors, who as of late Tuesday still plan to bring hate crime charges against Brymer for threatening two men and allegedly telling one, "Die, nigger, die." This despite black former teammates of Brymer's leaping to his defense, and despite one key prosecution witness skipping town to Los Angeles, and the other telling SF Weekly that no racial epithets were hurled. Oh, and a press release from the DA's Office still listed Brymer's age as 50 (he's 35).
Should she be promoted to Sacramento and become a different kind of attorney general, it's unlikely Harris will ever forget her time in San Francisco... no matter how hard she may try.
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