is, quite simply, the John C. Holmes
of beards. The Walnut Creek native's facial hair resembles a rhododendron bush
. He's the only person we know who could smuggle a bottle of champagne into a ballpark in his beard. And he's world class: The World Beard and Mustache Championships
have become his own personal playground; he has outclassed other hairy men
in the same way John Wooden's UCLA teams
dominated college basketball.
Someone else will win the Best Full Beard Natural
category at next month's National Beard and Mustache Championships
. But that's only because Passion is stepping down; the Bay Area beard luminary will instead host the competition and allow someone else to compete for the title.
So, if you haven't shaved for a few years and resemble Tom Hanks at the end of Castaway
-- this could be your big opportunity. The championships are in Bend, Ore. -- and will certainly be the
event of the week -- on June 5. Book your hotel room early.
Passion has not yet returned SF Weekly's messages querying why he has decided to abdicate his rightful title.
If you can't win via sheer bulk as Passion does -- though his is a nuanced beard as well -- you can still take home money and glory in these categories: