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Friday, March 19, 2010

The Week in Gay -- A Nation of Uppity Fags

Posted By on Fri, Mar 19, 2010 at 4:59 PM

click to enlarge biggayal2.jpg
A blogswarm was launched on March 18 to encourage the community to contact Nancy Pelosi's offices about her lack of effort behind the passage of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA).

In addition to the pressure on the phone lines, her offices in D.C. and San Francisco were visited by activists that refused to leave without word from the representative of one of the largest LGBT communities in the country. Poor Nancy! This must have put her botox to the test.

Meanwhile, in Washington, D.C., at a demonstration demanding action on a repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell (DADT), Lietenant Dan Choi handcuffed himself to the fence outside the White House. Last we checked, he and another ex-soldier were still being held without bail. Talk about uppity fags! Those two take the cake.

These events coincide with the launch of a new organization called Get Equal that has roots right here in San Francisco. Get ready to burn more bras this year.

Pelosi might have been too busy pushing the health care reform bill to even notice that her offices were under attack. But even health care reform has turned into an opportunity to betray the gays -- LGBT-specific provisions have been stripped from the bill. Hopefully an activist took a shit in a wastebasket in one of her offices.

Closing arguments in the Prop. 8 trial are likely to be delayed further due to really boring details that make my ass hurt.

Not all news is dramatic and gloomy: Constance McMillen, the lesbian wanna-be prom goer in Mississippi, has 360,000 fans on her Facebook page and spent her spring break on television visiting Joy Behar, Wanda Sykes, and Ellen Degeneres and speaking with Dan Savage.

In absurd developments, an Oklahoma court refused to divorce a same-sex couple married in Canada because the couple could not produce "proof of a valid marriage" because Oklahoma doesn't recognize same-sex marriage. Now, if you are hetero and you want a divorce, please take a number. We'll divorce your tradition-busting ass in a New York minute if you don't mind the wait due to the heavy volume of requests in the divorce capital of the U.S.

J.D. Hayworth is running against John McCain in Arizona and he thinks that same-sex marriage will make people want to marry a horse. He obviously is an asshole.

Speaking of assholes, Meg Whitman (Prop 8 lover) is leading Jerry Brown in the governor's race according to a poll released this week. Jerry might want to snap out of his Geritol high and start campaigning. The National Organization for Marriage (NOM) has already interjected its same-sex marriage hating ass into Barbara Boxer's re-election campaign. What makes Brown think he is going to be immune?

Finally, a quick update on the world of hetero male whores enjoying the sanctity of marriage: John Edwards snacks on the vag of his 5 month pregnant girlfriend -- on camera -- while his cancer stricken wife watches The Bachelor on TIVO. Tiger Woods wonders -- via text message -- if his mistress has ever been peed on. Last but not least, Jesse James (married to Oscar-winner Sandra Bullock) has been cornholing a tattoo model behind his wife's back. He sent his mistress a text message that said, "speaking of licking" even though I don't see that they were speaking about licking. They probably should ask John Edwards about his technique.

Patrick Connors is an uppity fag who is married to a man and doesn't care who knows it. Follow him at @uppityfag

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