If your beloved gave you the gift of rakes, shovels, and brooms on Valentine's Day -- beware. You may be dating a miscreant who has filched municipal property.
A Department of Public Works employee tasked with scouring filth on a day most folks were concerned with matters more amorous ended his day worse off than he started. At 3 p.m. he called the police to report a daytime robbery of his "cart" -- essentially a garbage can on wheels -- containing the aforementioned tools (which, for reasons unknown, the police feel inclined to state are "used to clean the streets.").
DPW employees we spoke with said this sort of theft -- on Valentine's
Day no less -- is highly unusual. Officer Massey of the Ingleside
Station -- he doesn't prefer to give out the first name -- concurred.
This is the first instance he recalls in his 19 years as a San Francisco police
Perhaps the lure of those DPW-grade tools was just
too much for our St. Val's day thief. After all, those rakes, shovels,
and brooms are "used to clean the streets."