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Thursday, December 3, 2009

Mock Tiger Woods While Raising Money for Charity

Posted By on Thu, Dec 3, 2009 at 12:01 AM

click to enlarge Be kind by being cruel?
  • Be kind by being cruel?
When it comes to golf deity Tiger Woods' automotive mishap followed by his admitted "transgressions" -- about the least sexy term one can employ for alleged carnality -- people tend to fall into two camps. There's the "Leave Tiger Alone!" contingent. And there's the "I Never Liked That Smug, Robotic Bastard. Fuck Him" group. But, now, there is a third way to approach this situation. You can join the "I'll Tastelessly Mock Another Man's Misery -- But All For a Good Cause" movement. But it won't be free.

At Wednesday's KNBR Sports Auction held at AT&T Park's Acme Chop House (shockingly empty), an all-star lineup of paraphernalia went under the gavel, with the Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame Youth Program benefiting from buyers' largess. There was a seat from Seals Stadium. There were any manner of signed items. I think there was back acne from Barry Bonds, circa 2002. No, actually there wasn't. But there was a framed photo of Woods crowing a great shot with a cracked 9-iron mounted to it and a plaque reading  "Elin's Window-in-One: November 27, 2009, 2:25 a.m., Isleworth, Florida." (Elin Nordegren is Woods' wife; for uncertain reasons that we can all venture a guess about, she supposedly took out a window on her husband's SUV with a golf club).

Yes, this demonstrates a high degree of schadenfreude. But if you're

going to be a karmic prick, you might as well balance it out by doing

so via bidding on an item at a charity auction. When last we checked,

the highest bid was in, shall we say, the extremely low three figures.

We'll pass. We'd rather buy the framed photo of John Daly with beer cans, drugs, and doughnuts pasted to it.

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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