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Friday, November 6, 2009

What Did Gavin Newsom Bring Everyone From Hawaii?

Posted By on Fri, Nov 6, 2009 at 1:45 PM

click to enlarge hulagavin.jpg
On the one hand, following Mayor Gavin Newsom's abrupt withdrawal from the governor's race, he spent quality time back in a beautiful city nestled in the bosom of the Pacific. On the other hand -- it was in Hilo, Hawaii.

When you take off for an impromptu jaunt several thousand miles away from City Hall and even your top aides don't know where you are -- well, gifts are in order. Here's a gift guide from the Aloha State:

Acting Mayor Carmen Chu: T-shirt reading "I was controversial acting mayor and all I got was this lousy T-shirt," size small. Also, macadamia nuts.

Board President David Chiu: T-shirt reading "I shoulda been acting mayor and all I got was this lousy T-shirt," also size small. And macadamia nuts.

Mayoral Spokesman Nathan Ballard: A new chair to replace the one that is now unusable after he realized the mayor took off to Hawaii without telling him.

Mayor Willie Brown: To the man who filled in for the big-time

speeches Gavin skipped, an honorific naming him King Willieleonalani.

And a hat. With feathers.

Former Board President Aaron Peskin
: A couple of Don Ho records as a peace offering. Now Peskin -- currently in the midst of a five-week sojourn in the Himalayas -- will give Newsom lessons on how to properly phone key city officials in the wee hours and berate them before heading off to parts unknown for lengthy trips.

City Greening Director Astrid Haryati: Cocount cake -- and a four-hour YouTube presentation of Newsom explaining how San Francisco should switch to a macadamia tree-based greening policy.

Supervisor David Campos: A pair of beautiful Quaker Parakeets -- which are actually illegal in California. Hmmmm -- should Campos report this pair of recent immigrants to the authorities or not? 

Supervisor Chris Daly: A Hawaiian Punch.

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Bio:
Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.

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