Monday, Oct. 5
10 a.m. - Public Safety Committee
On the whole, people are in favor of "Public Safety," so most of the time the Public Safety Committee is pretty uncontroversial. The chairman arches his eyebrows and asks the Mayor's Office of Criminal Justice "Why aren't you making us safer?" and nobody ever thinks "Hey, that's a really unfair question, you oppressive bastard!"
Today, a full two-thirds of the agenda (okay, two items out of three) are likely to lead to angry editorials and snarky comment sections in which people named "TouchMyMonkey!" and "Brian687" tell each other that they suck.
The uncontroversial item is a resolution authorizing the Department of Public Health to continue to receive HIV prevention funding from the Centers for Disease Control.
See what I mean? Anybody got a problem with that?
YOU have the AIDS!
San Francisco public schools suck!
Yeah, well, those guys, sure. But if they think that was controversial ...
The problem isn't AIDS. It's illegal immigrants!
... then they're going to have a stroke over Carmen Chu's hearing on illegal pot farms inside city homes.
People should be able to grow pot in their houses! It's their HOUSES!
If pot isn't legalized and taxed, California will DIE
The hearing will examine the reason why growhouse operations have been increasing so sharply in recent months, the "public safety implications" of these operations, and a District Attorney's report on the status of the arrests, among other things.
YOU have the AIDS!
Pot has never hurt anyone, at any time, ever. But it has cured your grandma's glaucoma. That's why the ancient Mayans worshiped it as a God.
People love my bicycle, and they love me when I ride it.
The final item on the agenda is David Campos' proposal to shield the immigration status of juveniles who are picked by the police, until they're convicted of a felony.
I TOLD you the problem is illegal immigrants!
And yes, the measure has a veto-proof eight supervisors sponsoring it.
I think we're ready to move on.
1 p.m. - Land Use & Economic Development Committee
There's just one phrase you'll need to remember coming out of this meeting: "Rental Subsidy Program for Low Income Families."
Because Supervisors Avalos, Campos, and Mar are proposing one.
Tuesday, Oct. 6, 2 p.m. - Full Board of Supervisors
Before we get into the meat of this meeting, let me eat a little crow.
Last week I gave the Supervisors Hebraic Hell for having a severe legislative slowdown, with far smaller agendas than at any point in recent history ... including a record-low of 13 items at a recent board meeting.
Well, this week David Chiu and his Flying Circus have tossed egg in my face in the form of a 40-item agenda (based on my own standards of what should be included, which are listed here). Forty, as you've probably noticed, is much higher than 13, and suggests that the supes are getting back to business.
Now, granted, this is happening after an extremely slow period -- giving legislation a chance to pile up, if you will -- and, granted that the corresponding meeting last year had 60 items on the agenda. So the board is still not keeping pace with those of the past.
But all the same, I think they showed me up, and I'm happy to give them bragging rights about it.
Unfortunately, most of these items are excruciatingly dull. But that's the nature of the beast: That's why really pretty people don't go hang out at city meetings and snort coke.
Maybe if committee hearings were DJ'd, we'd have something. Hey supes: Everybody who wants to approve the Terminal 3 Concourse Specialty Store Lease to Air Sun, put your hands up! Now when I say "Roll call," you say "Aye!"
It could work. I bet Portland does it first, though.
That airport concession is, in fact, a real item, and gives you a sense of what we're trying to work with here. There's also the settlement of several lawsuits and potential lawsuits (including Rose Dennis'); appointments to the Sunshine Task Force and Assessment Appeals Boards Nos. 1 and 2; an amendment establishing "Farmer's Market Fees" at $475 per location per six months of operation ... welcoming the Presidents Cup to San Francisco ...
Actually, here's something you might want to know: Oct. 8 will be named "Bay Area Youth Sports Foundation Day in San Francisco" ... actually, you don't really want to know that. I apologize for mentioning it.
Cue the strobe lights!