Life, death, sports, and Froot Loops. That's what kind of a week it was in San Francisco. You know, if you have half as much fun taking this quiz as we had writing it -- then we had twice as much fun as you.
On to the quiz:
1. Which of the following statements wasn't uttered by Officer Noel Schwab, as he arrested a mouthy San Francisco skateboarder in a now-infamous viral Web video
A. "Resist again, and I'm going to break your arm like a twig."
B. "Now I'm gonna act like a fucking dick..."
C. "I've got resin stains on the back of my teeth older than you, punk."
D. "Say goodbye to your friend. He wants to be a jackass, so he can go to jail."
2. The man starting at running back Sunday
for the San Francisco 49ers is named:
A. Bill Sanka
B. Glen Coffee
C. Earl Gray
D. CoCo Crisp
3. Which of the following isn't found
in the autobiography of Gap co-founder and political mover and shaker Don Fisher, who died over the weekend?
A. Boasts about union-busting
B. Boasts about easing the offshoring of jobs to Mexico
C. An admission that he appraises the "worth" of art by its resale value
D. Recollection of drunken night in Catalonia with Salvador Dali
4. Roy Werbel sued Froot Loops cereal in San Francisco Federal Court this week because:
|On loan from the San Francisco Police Department...|
A. The combination of chemicals, sugar, and slightly sour milk induced a seizure
B. He purchased the cereal for years believing it contained actual fruit
C. They did not give him the F-14 fighter plane promised to those who turned in 100,000 proofs-of-purchase
D. He claims emotional distress based upon a lifetime of being told he resembles Toucan Sam
5. Who plans to attend the President's Cup next week at Harding Park?
A. Michael Jordan
B. Tiger Woods
C. Barack Obama
D. All of them -- and Frank Chu!