Does this city have a taskforce on taskforces? It doesn't appear to -- but just you wait, now someone will bring it up. In any event, all excretory humor aside, we do have a restroom taskforce. Before you laugh, however, be informed that the restroom taskforce has the chance to piss away a serious amount of city money, if things go badly.
Last year, city voters approved $11.4 million dedicated to park and playground restroom upkeep as part of the $185 million Proposition A. Now our restroom taskforce is looking for your guidance on which terrible, terrible city restrooms should be fixed with that voter-provided loot, or which locales deserve a new restroom.
During seven meetings this year, the taskforce categorized the city's freestanding public restrooms into three categories: Abysmal, Wretched, and Not Even Johnny Knoxville Is Going To Go In There. Sorry, that's not true. The categories are simply "Priority One," Priority Two," and, predictably, "Priority Three," and you can draw your own conclusions from that. Here are the Priority One restroom replacements:
Alamo Square Restrooms, Angelo J. Rossi Restrooms, Balboa Park East Restrooms, Bayview Playground Restrooms, Carl Larsen Park Restrooms, Dupont Tennis Courts Restrooms, Hilltop Park Restrooms, Lincoln Park, Lower Great Highway at Judah Street Restrooms, Lower Great Highway at Taraval Street Restrooms, Marina Green East Restrooms, Marina Green West Restrooms, McLaren Park - Yosemite Marsh (Oxford and Beacon) Restrooms, Mountain Lake Park Restrooms, Parkside Square Restrooms, Portsmouth Square Restrooms (YES, YES, YES!!!! Sir Francis Drake's crew shat in better conditions than folks visiting Portsmouth Square.), State Street Restrooms, and Washington Square.
The taskforce also has suggestions on building new restrooms in several locations, such as Franklin Square and Potrero Del Sol Park -- but $11.4 million will only go so far. Last year SF Weekly reported that it should cost around $326,000 to build each new john, but costs can go through the stall roof; the quaint restroom in the Panhandle cost $531,219.
The taskforce has plenty of other suggestions -- we noticed that the Recreation and Parks Department has earmarked $50,000 toward examining timed, automatic locks (hopefully being trapped in the john overnight isn't a possibility).
In any event, you can read the full report here and your $0.02 is requested via e-mail or by calling (415) 831-2789. Here's your chance to get a hold of government employees and talk about your bathroom habits. Don't miss it.
Photo | Jim Herd