Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Like Stealing Electronics From a Baby: Police Bust Alleged Elementary School Burglars

Posted By on Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 12:01 AM

click to enlarge hamburglar.gif
Robert Fulghum earned a living, fame, and everlasting enmity from authors toiling over Russian Novel-length manuscripts after putting in a full day at the regular job when he published his sickly sweet manifesto, Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten.

Among the pearls of wisdom Fulghum gleaned: Share everything, play fair, put things back where you found them, and don't take things that aren't yours.

A trio of men who, apparently, flunked Kindergarten were arrested very late on Monday for breaking into and burglarizing the Ulloa Elementary School in the Parkside District. A neighbor reported to police that three men in hoodies had opened a window and breached the school, resulting in the dispatching of 11 San Francisco police officers.

The platoon of cops soon located the suspects cowering in the bushes near the school -- as well as "an electronic item" one of the men admitted to taking from the school. The suspects, all of whom are adults and San Francisco residents, were arrested for burglary, conspiracy, receiving stolen property, malicious mischief, and possession of burglar tools.

Fulghum's  literary crimes are not a matter of SFPD jurisdiction.

  • Pin It

Tags: , ,

About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook


  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"