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Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Is That a Corn Cob In Your Pocket -- Or Are You Just Happy To See the Library?

Posted By on Tue, Apr 7, 2009 at 5:30 AM

Unlike the contents of a can of Pringles, this card is entirely made of corn
  • Unlike the contents of a can of Pringles, this card is entirely made of corn
For a product that most often makes its way into San Francisco's attention span due to tortilla tossing, attacks on trans-fats, and, of course, unfortunate fecal jokes, corn is damn near ubiquitous. The good folks at Corn Products International boast you can use the tooth-jamming vegetable for everything "from fruit juices to frozen foods ... antibiotics to adhesives ... baked goods to beers ... paper to pet foods." Garrison Keillor, meanwhile, has declared sweet corn to be more pleasurable than sex.

And yet, no one has ever had the bright idea of making library cards out of corn -- until now. The San Francisco Public Library will start handing out compostable corn "EcoCards"; put that in your (corn cob) pipe and smoke it!

Our landfills are not overflowing with plastic library cards -- San Franciscans are neither that literate nor wasteful -- but, in an effort to be more environmentally responsible the library will next month kick off a test program featuring a run of 15,000 corn cards (the library usually hands out 60,000 cards yearly, so these may last a little while).

Fans of plastic need not despair -- you'll still have the option of getting regular cards (mine has crayon lightning drawn on it and was designed by a fourth-grader named Wing). But, if you agree to answer a few question over the next six months or so, the librarian will hand you the rather nondescript corn card.

"We want to know how it works in your wallet and what happens if it

gets wet," says library spokeswoman Michelle Jeffers. Since the card is

not laminated -- it wouldn't be compostable that way -- Jeffers isn't

sure if sweat-inducing sprints to make the Muni will cause the corn

card to chip and leave you smelling like the Frito Bandito.

She also notes that it would be counter-productive for eco-conscious

San Franciscans to gleefully throw away their plastic cards so they can

flaunt their "EcoCards." The newfangled devices will only be issued to

first-time customers or those who have lost their old cards and are

willing to pay for a new one.

Of course, the road to hell is paved with good intentions -- which now

adhere to green building practices -- and well-meaning environmental

moves don't always help. Sometimes, they even hurt.

To wit, Jeffers promised to get back to us on the following queries:


  • Where is the corn grown that these cards are produced from? Is it

    sustainably farmed, or are massive amounts of nasty pesticides and

    fertilizers involved?

  • How much energy does it take to create and transport these cards as

    opposed to the traditional cards? Moreover, is there a significant cost

    difference?

  • How many people can be realistically expected to compost a library

    card? Can it be composted by burying it in the backyard or, like

    "compostable plastic bags" does it require special conditions that can

    only be achieved in city-maintained compost piles?

  • How long must a corn card last to be energy effective compared with plastic cards that last until Kingdom Come?
  • If every San Franciscan simultaneously threw out his or her library card, how much space would it take up? More or less than a refrigerator?

  • Is an EcoCard strong enough to fit on a keychain like the plastic

    cards? And why can't I get cool kids' drawings on my EcoCard? 


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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Bio:
Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.

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