Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Crime / Law & Order / SF Oddities
An Honest Drunk: Inebriated S.F. Driver Waves Off Sobriety Test, Admits He's Plastered
By Joe Eskenazi
on Tue, Mar 31, 2009 at 11:59 AM
Sunday Morning Coming Down
" (Well I woke up Sunday morning/ With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt/ And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad/ So I had one more for dessert), cops from San Francisco's Taraval Station encountered a soused -- but honest -- gent Sunday morning:
03/29/09 8:47 am 1300 block of 25th Avenue
Officers ... responded on a report of a man slumped over the steering wheel of his car with the engine running. When they made contact with the man he was highly intoxicated and stated to the officers, "I'm not taking any tests, I'm drunk." The driver, who lives in Millbrae, was three times over the legal limit on a chemical test, had been driving with a suspended license and was wanted on two arrest warrants for drunk driving from Marin County. Case #090372488
SFPD officers from the Taraval Station have plenty of practice handling inebriate cut-ups, by the way. Last month a woman who had pinballed her car off other vehicles and into a street sign told cops she'd been "drinking too much vodka"
and was on her way to get "some more vodka."
Remember to tip your arresting officers. They'll be here all week...
Illustration | Mike Licht
In a scene ripped straight from the Kris Kristofferson/Johnny Cash ditty "
About The Author
Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left.
"Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015.
He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.