A Wall Street Journal blog announced yesterday that, starting on March 27, our picturesque city will be decimated by fighting monsters and aliens. Those of you who are older than eight - and if you read this Web page, you probably are -- have likely already guessed that this will take place on the big screen. You're right. It'll go down during animated 3-D chase and fight scenes in DreamWorks' new movie, Monsters vs. Aliens. You probably guessed that because you know the difference between what happens in real life and what happens in movies.
But after reading the WSJ blog, it seems DreamWorks doesn't seem to think we know that difference.
Its representatives feel the need to remind us, time and again, that they admire the city a great deal, that plenty of other movies have depicted its destruction, and that there will be hints of "future urban renewal." What a relief! Personally, I was terrified that they might leave San Francisco in rubble, with no promise of a future -- and, worse yet, that they don't like us. "We did this with respect and admiration for the city," co-director Conrad Vernon said. "It comes from a good place, not a bad place."
Now, maybe I'm crazy, but it seems DreamWorks is overcompensating for something here. From the way it's handling San Francisco with these kid gloves, I'm beginning to get the impression that DreamWorks folks think we're stupid and overly sensitive here.
So that's why you're taking us down! Well, we're not going to stand for it! Somebody tell those guys over at Lawrence Livermore to prepare the weapons. DreamWorks monsters and aliens, you're fucking toast!