Note that estimates involve the amounts of money theoretically recognized by the city’s ethics commission.
By Benjamin Wachs
August 1 (approx): Chicken John declares his candidacy. San Francisco thinks he isn’t serious. Estimated campaign net worth: $0
August 10: Chicken John officially files as a candidate. Board of Elections clerks think he can’t be serious. Estimated campaign net worth: $10,000.
August 26: After holding a major fundraiser, Chicken John’s campaign happily announces they’re thiiiis close to qualifying for public funds. San Francisco realizes he’s serious. Estimated campaign net worth: $23,000
August 27: Chicken John’s campaign realizes their accounting software is buggy: they’re not actually so close. Progressives wonder why they ever took him seriously. Estimated campaign net worth: $15,000.
August 28: After a marathon last-ditch fundraising appeal, Chicken John’s campaign declares it has raised over $26,000 in qualifying campaign contributions, files paperwork entitling it to a big chunk of public money. Public says “goddam.” Estimated campaign net worth: $76,000
September 13: The city’s ethics commission declares that virtually all of Chicken John’s campaign funds are ineligible because the city doesn’t take Pay-Pal. Estimated campaign net worth: $5,000
September 19: Chicken John campaign resubmits paperwork after Pay-Pal executives yell at city. Estimated campaign net worth: $78,000
October 1: The Ethics Commission approves a much larger chunk of donations to Chicken John’s campaign, but stops a few hundred dollars short of the threshold for public funds. No one in the city could possibly ever think that’s suspicious. Estimated campaign net worth: $20,000
October 3: Chicken John’s lawyer submits a letter to the Ethics Commission asking which donations to the Chicken for Mayor campaign are ineligible and asks for a date to submit an appeal. Ethics Commission Executive Director John St. Croix responds that by submitting this letter asking for an appeal date, the campaign has lost its right to appeal. This is how bureaucrats say “Fuck you.” Estimated campaign net worth: $24,000
October 15: The Chicken John campaign goes before the full Ethics Commission, which unanimously overturns St. Croix’s decision and allows the Chicken John campaign to resubmit its documents with some of the previously discounted contributions declared in its favor. The campaign now says it has the money, in which case by now it’s worth an estimated $80,000. If it doesn’t have the money, it’s probably back down to $24,000.
Last Week: St. Croix categorically denies a review order by the Ethic's Commission. Back down to $24,000.