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Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Kim Jong-Il, Jesus, Watson and Crick, SF Rabbi Langer: the Snitch presents the "Top Ten Most Jaw-Dropping Bobbleheads"

Posted By on Wed, Aug 1, 2007 at 3:31 PM

San Francisco Giants unveil nodding headed doll of San Francisco's Rabbi Yosef Langer, who serves as the team's "Rally Rabbi" on Jewish Heritage Night

A Diversion By Joe Eskenazi

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Here's a one-year-older-than-God's-parents joke about a rabbi who nodded his head a lot:

In a small Russian town, people brought their complaints to Rabbi Korsunsky to settle their differences. This day, two men were before the rabbi. He listened to the first and said, "You are right." Then he listened to the second man and said, "You are right." When they left, his wife, who was listening in the next room, said to him, "You're supposed to be some kind of judge? How can they be both right?" He listened to her and said, "You're right, too."

On August 8, the San Francisco Giants unveil a rabbi only slightly less agreeable — a nodding headed doll of San Francisco's Rabbi Yosef Langer, who serves as the team's "Rally Rabbi" on Jewish Heritage Night.

So far, more people seem to be bobbing their heads vertically ("cute!") than horizontally ("it's bad for the Jews!") with regards to the Orthodox bobblehead. One senior official with the team told me that he's received only two letters of complaint compared to oodles of "Can you save me one of those?" queries.

Either way, it's hardly the oddest bobblehead doll out there. In fact, it's not even the first rabbinical bobblehead — Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has been nodding for a while.

While once simply a charming accessory, bobbleheads have truly taken a bizarre turn in recent years.

And so, without further ado, the S.F. Weekly's list of the 10 Most Jaw-dropping Bobbleheads:

10. Barry Manilow

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Yes, the man whose music must play in Hell's elevators now has his very own nodder doll. Incidentally, if you ever see this sitting on someone's desk, do not pass Go, do not collect $200 — run.

9. Bowling Richard Nixon

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The only bobblehead to ever resign mid-term — it's true! Folks who traveled to the annual Lebowskifest had the chance to kick around this nodder. As the Dude himself might say, "That Nixon's a creep but he sure can roll, man."

8. Adam Morisson

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Granted, a bobblehead depicting a pro athlete is hardly news these days. But get a look at this thing! Morrision — who bears a spooky resemblance to the Billy Crudup character in "Almost Famous" — is, to put it mildly, an unconventional-looking man (my father would call that a "baseball mustache" — nine on each side). Incidentally, this doll was also handed out at Charlotte's "1970s Porn Star Bobblehead Night."

7. Homicidal Col. Sanders

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In order to protest animal cruelty at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the folks at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) displayed a medium-rare sense of humor with this maniacal, blood-lickin' good bobblehead of the Colonel. Is cruelty one of the 11 herbs and spices in the secret recipe?

6. Charles Darwin

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Is Intelligent Design bullshit? (shakes bobblehead up-and-down). Yeah, I thought so.

5. A Trojan Bobblehead

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Look, you guys had this coming. I know you're a hard-working Iowa school district but you didn't have to name your sports teams after the world's largest condom-seller and then produce a mascot that has parts of his body waving up and down. Sorry, that's just too much.

4. DNA discoverers James Watson and Francis Crick

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Unlocking the secrets of the double-helix makes you famous. Being on a bobblehead makes you a legend.

3. The J-Man

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Two words: Jesus Christ!

2. Kim Jong-Il

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The Top 3 reasons we may one day die in an atomic blast: the trafficking of nuclear components and material in the former Soviet Union and Pakistan; Our president's insistence on calling Vladimir Putin "Pootie-poot," and; this bobblehead.

1. Diana, Princess of Wales

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Considering the nature of Diana's exit from this mortal coil of ours, a doll with a wobbly neck seems to be in incredibly poor taste, no?

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David Downs


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