Happy New Year, motherlovers! May your 2014 be prosperous and awash with wonderful music. Unfortunately, on this fine day, you will all probably be subjected to at least one rendition of U2's "New Year's Day. This all-too predictable event occurs every single year without fail, despite the fact that the track is actually about Poland's Solidarity movement (no, really). U2 isn't the only band to write a bleak New Year's Day song, dammit. Here are five other equally miserable tracks to plod through your hangovers with.
"The New Year," Death Cab For Cutie
This one goes out to all poor buggers out there who "have no resolutions" and "don't feel any different" just because the number on the calendar changed. So, while everyone else is running around with their silly positive vibes and getting their hopes high for the next twelve months, you can sit in the corner, rolling your eyes at the naivete of it all and feeling safe in the knowledge that Ben Gibbard totally has your back.
"Our New Year," Tori Amos
Nothing like the dawning of a fresh January to make you think about lost loved ones. Total bummer, Amos. This thing is nothing but disappointment and absence. Can it be February now?
"This Will Be Our Year," The Zombies
It's a New Year's classic for people who've had a terrible year but are trying to be cautiously optimistic about the new one. "This will be our year -- took a long time to come," it goes. Vocalist Colin Blunstone sounds more like a man desperately trying to convince himself that things are about to get better, even though he's really not sure about the whole thing. Fingers crossed, eh kids?
"Celtic New Year," Van Morrison
What's the difference between a Celtic New Year and a regular New Year? We have no idea, but it's definitely something to do with tin whistles. Maybe. Probably.
"My Dear Acquaintance (Happy New Year)," Regina Spektor
Wistful, pretty, and chock-full of Holiday vibes, "My Dear Acquaintance (Happy New Year)" sees Ms. Spektor sprinkling fairy dust all over the "gentle, kind, young, and forgiving," and generally wishing the world well. Only problem is, the sentiment is totally undercut with a backdrop of gunfire and warfare. Peggy Lee did "My Dear Acquaintance" first and sounded borderline suicidal on hers. Happy January 1st, everybody!