If you're anything like us, then you've probably always thought of Morrissey as an asexual man-orchid: very pretty, but far too sensitive and high-maintenance to get particularly close to anyone else. Our assumptions, however, were blown out of the water in October when his autobiography -- not very creatively titled Autobiography -- was released in his British homeland, revealing love-life details that we'd never heard before. "When?" we cried! "When will we get to hear all the special details of Morrissey's sexy-time adventures?"
Maybe never, sadly. Not unless we buy a plane ticket to the U.K. and purchase Autobiography over there. For -- in a move entirely impossible to fathom -- the details of Morrissey's two-year homosexual relationship with a photographer named Jake Owen Walters have been largely removed from the American edition. Poor Mr. Walters' photo has been cut entirely from the U.S. version of the book, and he's even been written out of an entire anecdote.
So, what gives? Well, no one is saying. The publisher, GP Putnam's Sons, hasn't commented on the omission, and neither has anyone else. Essentially though, there are only three reasons something like this would happen:
1) Morrissey has concluded that he's said too much and decided to tone it down.
2) Jake Owen Walters doesn't want to be in Morrissey's book anymore, thank-you-please.
3) Somebody, somewhere, has decided that making homoerotic statements (such as: "Jake and I neither sought nor needed company other than our own for the
whirlwind stretch to come... For the first time in my life the eternal 'I'
becomes 'we' as, finally, I can get on with someone...") were just all too much for the delicate sensibilities of this God-loving nation of ours.
Now, clearly No. 1 would never, ever happen. Because this is self-righteous, "Bigmouth Strikes Again" Morrissey. Duh.
No. 2 would be somewhat understandable, but both sad and profoundly irritating.
But if it's No. 3 ... If somebody in 2013 has decided that hearing about a very close friendship between two men, which may or may not have been physical (that part is never explicitly stated, even in Autobiography
's original form), is just too damn gay for American eyes, then Glee
, Lady Gaga, Neil Patrick Harris, and that one Macklemore song just are not doing their jobs properly.
Americans have just as much right to hear about Moz and Jake falling "together in deep collusion" as the rest of the world. Whomever is responsible for toning down their relationship in this new edition clearly doesn't understand the significance of (A) Morrissey interacting with another human without scowling, and (B) the fact that this part of Autobiography
is what prompted the ex-Smiths frontman to finally confirm his sexual orientation. (For the record, he claims to be "humasexual" -- meaning that he is "attracted to humans." We think that means bi, but it's Morrissey, so who knows?)
Regardless of who's responsible for this travesty/censorship/bullshit move, we can't help but feel very cheated indeed. We're also concerned that gay-ish content might be getting cut out of books because of America's perceived homophobia -- or worse: America's actual homophobia. Either way, if you want the full story, we suggest getting online and forking over for international shipping fees, or -- hey, it's a valid excuse -- booking your next vacation in England.