By RYAN RITCHIE
Jehovah's Witnesses are totally onto something with that whole "no celebrating" thing. I mean, Capitalismmas sucks, Thanksgiving is nothing more than an exercise in gluttony, and Easter is a joke because there's no Jesus and even if there was, he sure as hell didn't rise from the dead. But as much as I want to act like my birthday is just another day (Nov. 10, in case anyone wants to send me gifts), I could never be a Jehovah's Witness because they don't celebrate Halloween and, well, I do. A lot. Luckily for me, so do lots of others.
For heathens such as myself, today is our day and, more importantly, tonight is our night. We will engage in acts we know we shouldn't partake in. We will be whatever we want and not feel bad about it. We'll roam the streets until the sun comes up. And we'll get wasted and maybe make out with a stranger. Goddamn, I love Halloween!
Here, in no particular order, are 10 songs to get you in the Halloween spirit.
10. Rocket From the Crypt -- "I Drink Blood"
The first line in this song is, "I drink blood on Halloween." Well, I'm sold. And if you're not, perhaps you should start getting the Christmas decorations from the attic because, apparently, Halloween ain't for you.
9. Geto Boys -- "Mind Playing Tricks on Me"
Remove Bushwick Bill's verse and this song would still be mandatory on any Halloween playlist. The end of Scarface's first verse, when he raps, "Some might say, 'Take a chill, B'/But fuck that shit -- there's a nigga trying to kill me/I'm popping in the clip when the wind blows/Every twenty seconds got me peepin' out my window" is second only to his second verse (and the song's third) when he says, "I often drift when I drive/Having fatal thoughts of suicide/Bang and get it over with/And then I'm worry-free, but that's bullshit/I got a little boy to look after/And if I died then my child would be a bastard." For many people my age, this was the first time we heard someone actually say some real shit on a record, partially because this track was inescapable on radio and MTV. And, 22 years later, it's still as real, scary, and dope as it was the first time we heard it.
8. Jefferson Airplane -- "White Rabbit"
I don't know about you, but this song scares the hell outta me. Especially that part when Grace Slick sings, "Feeeeeeeeed yoooooooooouuuuurrrrrrr heeeeeeeeeaaaaaaadddddddd." I don't want to feed my head because that seems like something that could give me acid flashbacks, which is pretty amazing considering I've never done acid.
7. The Cramps -- "Sheena's In A Goth Gang"
There are only three things that suck about Halloween: 1) It's just once a year; 2) Those assholes who steal little kids' bags; and 3) Late Cramps frontman Lux Interior isn't around to celebrate with the rest of us. Thankfully, Interior, guitarist Poison Ivy, and a rotating cast of others left us a blueprint for primal rock 'n' roll that includes -- but is not limited to -- "Sheena's In A Goth Gang." This one's great because the idea of a goth gang is pretty awesome. I mean, who are their rivals? Sure, they're selling drugs to get skrilla, but do they slang anti-depressants instead of cocaine? What do their tags say? And what are their nicknames? Halloween and the Cramps were meant for each other, and I could have just as easily picked "TV Set," "Garbageman," "I Was A Teenage Werewolf," "Zombie Dance" or "God Damn Rock 'N' Roll."
6. Michael Jackson -- Thriller
Go ahead and say whatever the funk you want about Michael Jackson because this song still rules, still should be played on the hour at any and every Halloween party, and still gets strangers together to do that dance-with-the-arms thing. Plus, that's one killer bass line... and let's not even talk about the :37 mark when the full instrumentation kicks in. Seriously, you can't write songs this insanely perfect without some help from Satan.