There were a lot of grim faces on Monday morning as the electro-loving masses emerged off the MSC Poesia -- a.k.a. the EDM party boat Holy Ship!! -- and did a slow zombie shuffle through U.S. customs and back into the real world (a.k.a. Fort Lauderdale). Here in the industrial port, the sky was overcast, a light rain was falling, and all 3,000 of us were thinking something like, "Whoa, wait weren't we all just on a private island together partying on the beach, dancing, and feeling like we had all collectively won the game of life?"
Oh, you weren't there? Here's what it was like during the second and third days of Holy Ship!! 2013:
7 p.m.: The costume theme for the night is "Ghost Ship," which of course means a lot of scantily clad ghosts dancing to Jack Beats, Dillon Francis, Zedd, and Tommy Trash, who are all playing the main stage tonight.
5 a.m.: Italy's Crookers destroys the floor in a relentless and well-attended set that brings temperatures in the room way up. Lots of people sweating through their shirts, and many shirtless. One woman wears nothing but a ship-provided bathrobe.
8 a.m.: On the main deck, a faction of people who have not yet gone to bed sit around a table by the pool with dazed looks on their faces. They drink potentially soothing beverages including coffee, milk, Bloody Marys, and vodka Red Bulls, which is a bold move this early.
11:30 a.m.: Haggard-looking folks including myself file onto a smaller boat that will take them from the Poesia to the day's private island beach party in the Bahamas. There is a collective hangover in the air and everyone looks approximately as happy as the people on the Titanic at crunch time. It was a big night we all just had.
12:30 a.m.: On the island, Brodinski is on the decks. He's followed by Diplo and then Justice who is joined by Boyz Noise and Jimillionaire, Destructo and... what the hell, I can't really keep track of everyone who's up there right now but it's basically an all-star DJ stew onstage. Everything they're dropping is right on, at least as gauged by the MTV Grind-style booty popping happening on the beach and in the water. It seems most everyone has rebounded in a big way since the sad-sack boat ride over here.
Ian Witlen Justice on the beach.
2 pm: Justice plays not one but two Will Smith samples, "Getting Jiggy With It" and "Miami," which are very much appreciated, at least if you happen to be me.
Katie Bain Diplo, Gary Richards, etc.
2:30 p.m.: Diplo joins fans on the beach, making people's days as he works his way through the crowd in his swim trunks shaking hands and posing for pictures. Women in particular react with looks ranging between "excited" and "I'm about to lose my mind right now."
4 p.m.: We take the boat back to the Poesia as the sun begins to set. Onboard people are eating, napping, and showering. It is the calm before the storm, with the impending storm being relentless bass music, adrenaline, and alcohol.
10 p.m.: The Major Lazer-sponsored Blue Beard's Booty Club is happening in the Zebra Bar, where Jillionaire does a set that even the security guards are dancing to.
12:30 a.m.: Into the Teatro Felice, where an epic three-hour hip-hop marathon is just getting started. The room goes from zero to hyphy in a quick minute as we all rap along and get low, get low, get lower. ("Pony" by Ginuwine happens.) Participating DJs include A-Trak, Brodinski, Skrillex, and Skream. Possibly the show of the weekend.