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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Let's All Laugh at How Terrible These St. Louis Cardinals Fan Songs Are

Posted By on Wed, Oct 17, 2012 at 1:32 PM

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[Editor's note: SF Weekly's sister paper in St. Louis recently put together a list of eight rather hilariously unflattering fan-made tributes to the St. Louis Cardinals. Obviously, they originally meant it with some affection. But given that our beloved Giants are currently battling the Cards for the National League title, we see these in, shall we say, a different light -- especially given the typically high-quality Giants tributes issued by locals like E-40, a bunch of other rappers, and Ashkon. Here then, as a rare insight into the minds of musically-inclined Cardinals fans -- our opponents -- we present some of the worst-yet tributes to the team. Laugh away.]

Every sport has its fan-written songs, but in Major League Baseball today, it seems like no community seems to write as many as St. Louis Cardinals fans. And most of them are awful.

While you might find yourself embarrassed for the musicians in the videos below, don't forget that all of them are completely earnest, so it's really hard to hate them. But it is not difficult to make fun of them -- until you find yourself singing it after eight beverages at whatever sports bar you find yourself this week. Who's laughing, then?

In that spirit, here are Cardinals songs that will make you cringe, but before you laugh at the "12 in '12"-chanting Best Fans in Baseball® (or #BFIBs), try to not become obsessed with a few of these ear worms. (Except maybe this one, no one's going to be able to replicate this tuneless number by KMOX's Brian Kelly.)

Onto the list, which is sure to grow if St. Louis advances.

8. "DAVID FREESE" (THEME SONG)

YouTube Description: "'David Freese' is the best player on the "Saint Louis Cardinals" and GOD told me that he will lead the entire MLB team to win another ring this year 2012."

Cringe-Inducing Line: "Mr. Freese is so cold he might make you sneeze."

7. "Colby Rasmus Fire Burning In The Outfield"

YouTube Description "This is a music video I made about Colby Rasmus (my favorite baseball player) for his birthday August 11th. I made it from facts and observations that I already knew about him and I really hope all the Colby fans out there like it. I'm a huge fan!"

Cringe-Inducing Line: "I love Number 28, Colby's fire burning in the outfield."

Note: This one became sort of internet-famous, which is to say not famous at all. And even though this is from 2009, it needs to be heard again. You can bet Colby isn't getting this reception in Toronto.

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Nick Lucchesi

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