A man who calls himself Johnny Payphone is looking to bring a ginormous, functional sculpture shaped like Digital Underground frontman Humpty Hump into your home or storage facility for free. It's been abandoned in an Oakland storage facility for years, and oh, the stories it could tell.
This thing is insanely big. The nose opens up like two French doors. It's probably bigger than some studio apartments in the Mission, and apparently someone has tried living in it already. Tupac Shakur was still hanging out with Digital Underground when it was made, so he was probably all up in those nostrils, too.
Someone with a lot of space is going to have to pick this nose. If it were more compact, we would have already claimed it as the ultimate kingpin in a personal Digital Underground memorabilia collection that includes a Humpty tweed jacket and rubber nose, both caught in the air at different concert performances.
If you need an idea of the scale of this sucker, check it out around the 1:32 mark in the "Return of the Crazy One" video:
So hit up Johnny Payphone on his Tumblr if you want some head. Warning: If you take Humpty home, there's a good chance he'll drink up all the Hennessy you've got on your shelf.