* Live Review, 7/14/12: The U.S. Air Guitar Championships Bring an Invisible Axe Battle to the Independent
Did the 11-year-old in you never quite get over shredding air in front of the mirror to Master of Puppets? Well maybe that's good, because there's a thing called the U.S. Air Guitar Championships, where similarly imaginative virtual noodlers gather every year to face off in friendly competition. With the annual contest's U.S. regional coming to the Independent this Saturday -- in advance of the Denver finals -- we thought it'd be a good time to show you the kind of six-air-string lunacy that goes on when a bunch of shameless hams compete to see who can do a better Randy Rhodes. Here are the five craziest air guitar performances we could find, all culled from previous competitions and rated according to a three-part scale we just made up. Expect more serious competition -- and judging -- this Saturday at the Independent.
1. Shirtless Classical Insanity From C Diddy
Shreddery: 10 out of 10, for impeccably coordinated finger-tapping and whammy-bar action.
Style: Six out of 10, because the, like, flowing robe and Hello Kitty chestpiece is a visual non-sequitur, albeit one we won't forget.
Energy: Nine out of 10, because he pretty much never misses a moment to do something new.
2. Romeo Dance Cheetah, the Backflipping Action Figure
Shreddery: Seven out of 10, because the actual imaginary fingerboard theatrics were trumped by so many other goings-on.
Style: Nine out of 10, because he looks like a genuine action figure freak in that getup.
Energy: Nine out of 10, because did we mention that he does a backflip? Dude makes a Lady Gaga group-dance routine look downright lazy.
3. Thundergland Homos It Up
Shreddery: Six out of 10, because while capable, his fingerwork wasn't the emphasis here.
Style: 10 out of 10 for the (whoa) LIGHT-UP CODPIECE!
Energy: Eight out of 10, because there's a whole lot of thigh-shaking and torso-bending goin' on.