Fucked Up's gloriously unhinged frontman Damian "Pink Eyes" Abraham got all righteous on Katy Perry's ass this week after apparently viewing the video for her "Part of Me" single. First he Tweeted: "Seeing Katy Perry as a soldier in the video for 'Part of Me' really makes me think that we need to start a war so she can go die." Then he later Tweeted: "Yes I'm aware that my last tweet was kinda dumb but so is glamorizing war to sell records to idiots. Katy Perry still sucks."
Woo-hoo! Way to make us wanna high-five our computers, Pink Eyes! Of course, idiots have been glorifying and glamorizing war in music videos for years. Here are the top 5 offenders.
5. "19," Paul Hardcastle
This one's at the end of the list because Paul Hardcastle definitely didn't glamorize the Vietnam War. However, he did manage to turn it into a hip dance song, which was a little confusing at the time. I say this as a human who remembers going to a disco dancing class at the age of six with my 10-year-old sister, who proceeded to do an entire routine to this while wearing a shiny pink lycra body suit. That's what happens when you put a dance beat behind a protest song, people. And yes, in 1985, teenagers in discos across the globe side-stepped their asses off to this. The song did at least provide some shocking statistics to scare the bejesus out of any young folk listening to it as something more than a cool, cutting edge pop song. But it's still pretty weird.
4. "This is War," Thirty Seconds to Mars
You think at the beginning of this video that Thirty Seconds to Mars might actually be going in a sensible direction with all this war stuff. But that's before they decide to go into "movie-mode" (seriously Jared Leto, either act or don't -- this is stupid). The band members do a handsome patrol in the desert where they (oh dear god) witness some sort of weapon-based rapture in which tanks, jets, helicopters, ships and armored vehicles get sucked up into the sky to form a giant, floating, useless pyramid of doom. The lesson here? Just because you include actual news footage in your music video does not make the final product intelligent.
3. "Part of Me," Katy Perry
Hi everybody, my name's Katy Perry. I'm just like you. Immediately after a breakup, I like to "Do a Britney" in a public bathroom, bind my own breasts down in lieu of purchasing a good sports bra, then run away to the Marines, where they have no idea how emotionally unstable I am. Because if I can't have a boyfriend, I'm gonna need to go shoot some shit. Also, I think it's really empowering to get yelled at, do assault courses, stab things with my bayonet, and undergo varying degrees of water torture all day. Seriously, you guys, look how big my gun is! This is so awesome! And look! You get to wear really fun make-up too! Yay!