So, remember that thing that happened at the 2009 Grammys? That thing where Chris Brown and Rihanna both no-showed on account of the fact that he'd beaten the crap out of her? Then shortly afterwards, photos emerged online of a decidedly broken-looking Rihanna, sporting a swollen eye, a split lip and massive lumps on her forehead? It was a harrowing image and undoubtedly hard to forget...
...Or so you'd think. The truth of the matter is, a great deal of people seem to have erased the entire incident from their minds and somehow forgotten that Chris Brown did this, admitted to doing this, apologized weakly, then got off far too lightly in court. Apparently, enough time has passed and now all is forgiven because his fourth album is doing well, SNL welcomed him onto the show earlier this year (nothing funny about that, Lorne Michaels), and even little Justin Bieber recently recorded a duet with him (cute!).
But then on Monday, everyone's favorite news-loving silver fox, Anderson
Cooper, put on his sarcastic hat and had this little (awesome) outburst:
This filled us with such great joy, we wanted to climb into the TV and kiss Cooper (even more than usual). Chris Brown is, indeed, a violent, idiotic douchebag who takes the opportunity to act like a spoiled child every time someone invites him on TV (which happens with baffling regularity). He behaves as if he was ultimately the real victim in the Rihanna beating because occasionally -- far too occasionally we have to say -- people, like, bring it up and stuff, which is, like, mean-spirited and, like, awkward.
Chris Brown's attitude stinks -- it stinks like a sewer rat soaked in fish guts and left out in the summer sun to marinate. So it was refreshing, by god, to have it finally pointed out by good ol' Anderson. Hell, Rihanna hasn't even had the good sense to call Brown out on anything -- we thought it was a dignified front at first, but between the "Love The Way You Lie" single with Eminem and the controversial video for "Man Down," it's starting to feel a little bit like she's using the incident to boost her record sales. All the while, staying friends with Brown on Twitter (brilliant example to set for your young, female fans Ri-Ri -- just brilliant).