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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

In Case You Were Wondering, Jello Biafra Hates S.F.'s High-Tech Geeks and "Shitty Indie-Pop Bands"

Posted By on Tue, May 17, 2011 at 3:46 PM

Jello Biafra and the Guantanamo School of Medicine
  • Jello Biafra and the Guantanamo School of Medicine
Jello Biafra, the former high-pitched voice of Dead Kennedys, isn't known for holding his tongue. Whether he's helming a punk rock band, running his Alternative Tentacles label, or even just speaking onstage, the guy always has something -- usually fierce and frequently controversial -- to say.

See: The first song from the upcoming EP by Jello Biafra and the Guantanamo School of Medicine titled "Dot Com Monte Carlo," in which Jello rails against various local injustices: the presence of too many high-tech geeks, the popularity of shitty indie-pop bands, and the appearance of valet parking signs on Valencia Street. Whether or not you agree, the lyrics paint a brutal, outraged, and darkly comic picture of contemporary San Francisco. They're also disturbing in another way: At one point, Jello seems to be calling on Mission gangs to kill yuppies in drive-by shootings. Really.

The lyrics to "Dot Com Monte Carlo" in full:

Where did they come from Why are they here? Hi-tech piranhas With Bluetooth barnacle ears

Living breathing biohazards
Spit their money in everyone's face
Worship all these shitty indie-pop bands
Babies in cigar bars
Trying to play Gatsby

They want us gone
Close the clubs
We might disturb their lofts

Dot com Monte Carlo
Dot com Monte Carlo

Where's the gangs in the Mission
When you need em?
How 'bout some yuppie drive-bys
For a change?

Never knew geeks
Could be so damn mean
Artists and workers
Bulldozed out by the thousands
Can't afford to be black
Or teach school in this town
My vet had to relocate
To his garage

Where can we go
Oakland, then Portland, then L.A.?
Their Gold Rush immolated like Pompeii
But they're back!

Dot com Monte Carlo
Yuppie San Francisco
Nowhere left to go
We got news for you

Kook City
Proud of it
You and Nancy Pelosi
Can go straight to hell

Valet parking signs on Valencia
Wanna chase those twits
Down the street with a chainsaw
Trespass their restaurants
Swipe the food off their plates
Til' they hit me
Then smear them with honey
And release thousands of bees

Look at the giant middle finger
They put up by the Bay Bridge
50 floors of luxury condos
Just for them
They're trying to put up more and more
On slippery landfill
So when the big quake comes
We'll drink a toast
Dance in the streets
And watch it all fall down

Timber... Die!

Not much room left for equivocation there, eh?

UP NEXT: Explaining the references, and hear a version of Jello's song.

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Ian S. Port


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