These days, being backstage at a show usually involves little more
than watching a pile of people obsess about food, try to locate the nearest
shower, and -- most importantly -- get venue Wi-Fi to work. Behind The Music-style rock 'n' roll hedonism is a rarity these days, but if you're still one of
those people desperate to see backstage action, or if it's a special night and you
know for sure that there's a raging party going on back there that you just
have to get into, you're facing a number of hurdles. Here's how you get over
where a 15-year-old girl faked passing out so she could get beyond the
backstage barriers. Once she got back, a friend of hers begged security
to allow her through as well, to check on her friend. Once they were both back
there, they burst into the band's room and started making out with each other
in a vague attempt to seduce a pile of pop-punkers old enough to be their dads.
We were there. It was one of the grossest things we've ever seen. But it was
also kind of genius because it totally worked and no one kicked them out. High five, repulsive English teenagers!
Damon's character -- a pilot named Carol -- says "You walk briskly in a pilot's
uniform, you can go pretty much anywhere. I've been upstairs at the White House
while the Obamas were sleeping."
Well, you don't need a pilot's uniform. You just need a quiet air
of arrogance and the right body language. You also need to walk directly
behind people who are getting escorted in by someone with a laminate. And if
they eye you suspiciously at any point, just start talking to those people like you know the
band too. Job done.
that everyone loves them because, after the sex, they're not there on the bus when
the band and crew are mocking them relentlessly. We feel it's important to
mention this, in case you're considering attempting slutdom to get backstage.
It does work a fair amount and you do at least get laid, but we wouldn't feel
right suggesting this without full disclosure: You will be selling your soul
and you will get laughed at by at least eight people afterwards. If you can
live with that, that's your business. (Whore.)
are usually tense, sober, highly stressed, and slightly OCD. Bullshitting your
way in via the tour manager is the toughest route here. Your best bet, though,
is to approach them as if you're old friends. They do nothing but travel
and meet different people every single day, so if you act like you're a
buddy and you've hung out a ton before, and you're superhappy to see them,
there is a chance they'll let you in with them. You just have to be the most
charming and funny and warm that you've ever been in your entire life. This move does
work, but only sometimes. And if they smell bullshit, they will humiliate
you. You have been warned.
to be back there, without you having to resort to shady shit. Do merch, do
sound, be a roadie, be a tour manager, work at a venue, be a PR person, be a
stylist, work for a record label, be a journalist, be a photographer. Hell, form a damn band! All of
the above are easy ways of getting a laminate or a sticky. You just have to get
the job first. Good luck out there!