If you're wondering why twenty-somethings all over the city are sulking and moping their way through today, it's because they hesitated to buy tickets for yearly Coachella music festival and yesterday it sold out, denying them an opportunity to see Kanye West and Arcade Fire for the millionth time.
Obviously you feel bad for this lot, who were just denied the opportunity to spend a small fortune, and you empathize with their First World problems. This is why I've prepared a helpful list of alternative options these sad masses could spend their Coachella loot on. Feel free to print/email/Facebook/handwrite this list to help cheer these depressed kids out.
2) You could also start your own small nation somewhere in Eurasia or possibly Micronesia. However, you'd probably need some additional investments to sustain this one.
3) You can now afford all 3,929,493 of the Glee albums.
4) You can now repay your parents for the half-decade of post-collegiate rent they fronted you. Wait, who are you kidding? You're never repaying that.
5) You can afford record your debut masterpiece album, produced entirely by Quincy Jones, Timbaland, Kanye West, T-Bone Burnett, Van Dyke Parks, and who ever did Willow Smith's song "Whip My Hair."