6. Christopher Walken in Fatboy Slim's "Weapon Of Choice"
5. Jake Gyllenhaal in Vampire Weekend's "Giving Up The Gun"
Here's Jake G as an unshaven, boozed up, semi-psychotic tennis player who whips off his pants like a Vegas stripper and bounces around the court in slow-motion, wearing shorts that clearly have a malfunctioning zipper. Did we mention he gets hit in the ass with a tennis ball? And that The RZA umpires the entire thing? We should probably say something about Joe Jonas being at the beginning or Lil John playing a boater-wearing coach here too, but this video belongs to Gyllenhaal. By God, he's handsome.
4. Rhys Ifans in Oasis' "The Importance Of Being Idle"
Granted, he's not a massive star over here, but in the UK, Welshman Rhys Ifans is a cult favorite (rather than just being best known for playing Hugh Grant's scrawny chimp-like roomie in Notting Hill). This video is like a Dickensian musical set in the '60s, but don't let that turn you off - there simply haven't been enough coffin-centered dance routines in music videos over the years, and this helps rectify that. Thanks, Oasis. And, also, thanks for having the good sense to let Noel sing this one (he's clearly much better than Liam).
We know Tori Amos isn't at the top of the list of people to go to for a bit of common sense, but when she attached her head to a knee and had an affair with a rather veiny Adrien Brody-topped arm, that surely was the point when the psychiatrists should've started moving in. The ear-whispering bit is kind of erotic, 'til you remember the severed limb aspect of the whole thing. In short, this shit is way more creepy than Walken in "Dead Zone."
2. Donald Sutherland in Kate Bush's "Cloudbusting"
Here's an attempt to summarize the level of insanity contained within this clip: Kate Bush puts on the worst wig ever made and pretends to be a child, while she and Don (her "dad," presumably) alter the weather using a huge machine made of gigantic French horns. Meanwhile, evil men try to halt their activities (for playing God, presumably), Sutherland clenches his fist a lot, and, finally, it rains in England (it's hard to believe they needed a machine to help them with that last one). Uh, great song?
1. Angelina Jolie in The Rolling Stones' "Anybody Seen My Baby"
Before Jolie transformed into Saint Angelina, she kept herself busy by being smokin' hot, wandering around New York City, getting old men to peel their own faces off, and zipping herself up inside other humans. We're not entirely sure what the message of this video is, but we do know that if we worked in one of those little booths on the subway and Mick Jagger one day sauntered over and started singing into our speaker hole, we wouldn't know whether to laugh, cry, or have a panic attack. So we hope he does this on a regular basis.